Losing your heart dog changes things.
Any loss changes things.
What was once normal becomes foreign.
Things you once enjoyed seem to remind you of what you have lost.
Jet was my baseball buddy.
Well, he was my buddy for a lot of things.
As my velcro dog and my heart dog, we did so much together and with him gone, things have been different for a while now.
We loved watching our Rangers play. Jet loved watching anyone play. He’d hang his head off the side of his bed and keep his eyes glued to the screen.
On the night before we said goodbye, Jet and I watched the Rangers pull off a win against the Athletics. It was more than we could ask for. I felt as though they won for us. Going into the 9th inning, the Athletics were up by 1, the score was 2-1. In the 9th inning, the Rangers scored 4 runs. They won. They won at the last minute and I was certain it was just for my boy.
Jet ran to the bridge on May 13th, 2017. I didn’t watch a full baseball game until today. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I missed him. I missed being able to cheer with him by my side.
Today I watched…I don’t know how many games I watched.
I flitted between games until the 9th inning of the last one.
I still miss my boy. I miss him with all my heart. But on the night before we let him go, I held his paw and I told him that it was okay to go. I told him that mommy and daddy would take care of each other and he had done his job. He had done his job better than anyone could ever ask, but now it was time for him to rest. I told him we would be okay – I would be okay. And if I linger too long in that period of grief, if I mourn his loss more than I honor his memory, I would have lied.
I told my boy that I would be okay and so that is what I have to do, like it or not.